If I had to give you my family’s polished and pretty yearly update, it would simply say the following:

Our biggest news is we added to our family! Ashlyn Lora was born on July 4th. Rebecca’s adjusting to being a mom of 2 beautifully. Jason hit the big 3-0 this year and we celebrated with lots of his closest friends. Carter turned 2 and was so pleased to receive lots of trains. He is really into Thomas the Tank Engine and the Cars movie. We vacationed in TWO different parts of North Carolina and visited our family in Georgia and Virginia several times. Rebecca is still coaching swimming and Jason is enjoying his work-at-home job in the clinical research industry. We’re healthy and happy and excited for what 2013 has in store for us!

In reality, our year went something like this…

Rebecca spent the first half of 2012 pregnant. She really hates being pregnant. During this pregnancy, she ran a half marathon, did a lot of eating and DD-ing, and gained a crapload of weight (again). She also introduced her not quite 2-year old to tv, something she feels not the slightest bit guilty about. Jason turned 30 and celebrated by acting like he was turning 21. His friends also didn’t get the memo that he’s been buying his own liquor for 9 years and NOT taking shots of Goldshlagger for at least 5 years as they fully stocked our bar with “birthday presents.” We spent a long weekend with our best friends and J’s parents in Oak Island, North Carolina where we all contracted a stomach virus and Carter puked in the car for the first time in his short life.

Our biggest news is we added to our family! Ashlyn Lora was born on July 4th, of course, since Rebecca said upon receiving a July 7th due date that the only day she DIDN’T want the baby coming was on Independence Day. She looks forward to explaining to Carter why he doesn’t get fireworks for his birthday every year. Rebecca had a successful, all-natural VBAC thanks in large part to the f-word and waiting till it was almost too late to get to the hospital. Rebecca thinks being a mom of 2 that are 22 months apart is about as easy as her drug-free labor was.

Carter talks a mile a minute and has a new catch phrase every couple of weeks. Mom’s favorite is “no” and Dad prefers “stop it,” but hearing him say, “I love you” is one of the coolest things J and I have both ever experienced. He is 100mph from the moment he wakes up till he falls asleep and sometimes asks for time-outs himself, likely because he’s used to spending so much time there. Disciplining him has gone over as well as a fart in church, and I mainly used that metaphor because he giggles when he farts and Jason really likes fart jokes. We’re all maturing quite nicely over here.

Ashlyn hates sleeping, growing hair and anything that involves leaving Mom’s arms. She likes to watch her brother be his normal crazy self and spends a lot of time laughing and smiling at him. I’m trying to enjoy these moments now because I’m certain they won’t always be so loving to each other.

We vacationed with Becca’s family to the Outer Banks this summer and will never again attempt a beach trip 6 weeks after having a baby. Otherwise, it was awesome. Carter and Levi, at only 3 weeks apart, get along beautifully and we spend lots of time talking about the trouble they will be getting into together one day.

The fall holidays came and went, along with Rebecca’s sanity, and here we are again in December…where we begin the season of sending our relatives their birthday presents late.

We have so much to look forward to in 2013!

Jason is hoping to not have to replace another expensive household appliance while Rebecca is hoping to stop drowning in her sea of messy hair and dirty laundry and maybe get around to seriously training for the really long triathlon she stupidly signed up for. We both hope to continue being gainfully employed at our current jobs…J to pay the bills and Becca to keep being able to shop the sale page on 30% off your total purchase days at Gap.com.

Ashlyn will be on the move soon and one day in 2013 we hope to only have 1 kid in diapers. Our only other hope for Carter is that he doesn’t break any bones or say any curse words in front of the wrong crowd.

And that they both stay healthy and so stinkin’ adorable!

From our (crazy and chaotic) family to yours…happy holidays!

Meanwhile we have no clean sleepers for the baby and our kitchen floor looks like our dog gave herself a haircut on it. Speaking of hair, lord only knows what’s going on up there on any given day. It’s a hot mess. Hot. Mess.

I asked myself, again, if I wanted to return to blogging. I definately do NOT have the time for it right now, but I also don’t know how long the shred of sanity I’m still clinging to will remain should I have to keep all this motherhood-related snarkiness and general ridiculousness that takes place on a daily basis when it’s just the kids and I inside.

I blog for these reasons:

• It’s cheaper than therapy – seriously though, when you blog true things, sometimes it’s scary, but you will inevitably find someone else on the internets who has not only gone through what you’ve been through, but probably worse. So that helps. Plus I know my husband already thinks I talk too much as it is. Blogging helps me get some words out without him wanting to go all Picasso on his ears.
• My kids are ridiculous, and those of you with ridiculous kids need to know there are others out there dealing with the same completely ridiculous things you are. Yes, even my 2-month old is ridiculous. I swear she says more with those sassy eyes of hers than I care to even hear spoken out loud. I already think we’re going to have our hands full with this one.
• It allows me to play on the internets while I convince myself I’m compiling content for future posts.
• It’s something to do that isn’t cleaning, laundry-ing, pinning DIY projects I’ll never complete AND, most importantly, doesn’t involve diapers or anything that may or may not be contained in them.

If I could get paid to blog, that’d be fantastic, but I really don’t have the attention span or the time to do what it takes to make my blog anything more than something my family, close friends and the people who want to keep tabs on how amazingly glamorous my life is take a peek at from time to time when they are putting off doing something more important on the internet…like their job.

And I’m ok with that.

I like to rant and vent. I like to tell you my opinion on things related to parenting and being a mom. I like to tell you stories about my life that are probably TMI. Sorry in advance.

I like all those things…like genuinely like to do them almost as much as I like to drink wine and sleep (two activities I haven’t gotten to do nearly enough as of late…). So I blog.

I blog because I think my amazing VBAC birth story could inspire someone to consider going for a natural birth one day. I blog because who else am I going to talk to about teaching my son to say “mama, you beautiful” and it being the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard? On the same note, he says “dammit” with more frequency than I care to admit.

I blog because on some days at home I’ve actually been a productive parent and come up with fun and creative things for Carter to do, so why not share them? I also find some really funny blogs and websites to read from time to time and like to share those, too. I blog because it’s sometimes easier than posting pictures on Facebook.

And speaking of Facebook, I blog because I know no one really wants to read a status update that goes something like this:

“I wasted the first 8 minutes of Ashlyn’s 12 minute nap shopping for things online that I won’t end up buying and the second I walked my ass in the kitchen to clean, she woke up. It’s like she said without saying, “you don’t REALLY want to wash those dishes or vacuum that floor without a 12 pound baby strapped to your body, do you, crazy?!” Meanwhile, I suck at building train tracks for my son and if I hear the theme song for Thomas the Train one more time I might throw myself out of my living room window. I’m passive aggressively mad at my husband for getting to go spend 2 days with his friends doing something cool like Tough Mudder without a diapered butt anywhere in sight. It’s not cool, and I won’t act on it, but the fact that I’m thinking about the bitterness makes me feel guilty. I really need coffee. I HATE this presidential election crap.”

You know what happens to people who post shit like that on Facebook? I make fun of them to Jason. But I bet if you’re still reading this post, you read that paragraph and, at the very least, totally agreed with me about how annoying the Thomas the Train song AND the presidential election both are.

So that’s why I blog. What do you do that helps maintain your sanity?

I am confident that at your 21-months of age you do not quite have the ability to understand just how much things are about to change around here. Trust me when I say that in my 28-years of age, I can’t begin to comprehend it either.

When mommy talks to you about your baby sister and you give her belly hugs and big raspberry kisses, it melts my heart, while simultaneously breaking it knowing that my one-on-one time with you is going to be drastically reduced in the coming weeks.

I know that you’ll never remember your life as an only child. Uncle Nate is closer in age to mommy than your sister will be to you, and I have zero recollection of my life without him. As an adult reflecting on my relationship with my brother, I think that’s awesome. As a mother reflecting on my relationship with her son, I find this a little devestating.

When we spend time building tunnels and playing with trucks and jumping on the bed even though I’m supposed to tell you not to do that, I like to think that we are making memories you will cherish forever, when in fact, we’re making memories that only I will cherish forever because you’re still too young to remember these things.

You’re too young to remember us playing with crayons for the first time, to remember using mommy’s giant belly as a race car track, our ”airplane” rides, hide and go seek games, and to recall our mornings spent couch cuddling while watching the Today show or an episode of Team Umizoomi.

You’re too young to remember singing the ABC’s in the car on our way to play gym class and you’ll never be able to recall how many times mommy kisses your face in any given day.

What I will remember most about our time before the birth of your sister is being in complete awe that we were slowly but surely figuring out this whole growing up thing together. I hope that as you get older you won’t look back and realize that your dad and I were totally winging it from day 1, but it’s been amazing that we’ve been able to navigate through infancy and early toddlerhood together without any major body or emotional harm.

I can’t promise that the coming months won’t be without feelings of neglect, and I take comfort in the fact that you won’t remember those feelings, no matter how crummy I think it is that you won’t remember the positive feelings, too. What I can promise you is that mommy will be trying her hardest to figure out life with 2 precious children – and that the birth of your sister will introduce so many great things into your life.

Having a sibling is one of the best things that I can even possibly describe. Even my negative memories of growing up with your aunt and uncle pale in comparison to all the positive ones – and the relationships we’ve established as adults is something I hold so dear to my heart. Even when we disagree, it comes from a place of love, and I don’t have any doubts that we’ll find a place of resolution in all of our arguments and go back to the light-hearted and loving friendships that have formed over the years.

When you’re little, your sister will try to play with your toys, mess up your towers and try tirelessly to keep up with you and your friends. All of these things will drive you crazy. That’s ok.

As she grows up, I hope you will help teach her to stand up for herself and not be afraid to get her hands dirty. Help her be strong and not take any shit from anyone – even when you’re the one trying to dish it.

Know that my love for you as my first born child is unparalleled, and that no matter how hard I fall in love with your sister and how many mother-daughter memories we may have that will be foreign to you, my love for you as my son will be steadfast and forever a safe place for you to land.

I can’t wait to see you as a big brother.

Love,

Mama

And by “these will have to do” I really mean I may make them weekly until the baby comes because they were that damn good.

Frosty s’mores cups

I found this recipe on Pinterest (where else?) and decided to make them to complement a Friday evening pool and pizza date with our neighbors. They were easy to make and tasted ah-mazing.

Some notes that may or may not be of use to you…

I used a cupcake/muffin pan (as opposed to the mini cheesecake pan the author uses) and it worked just fine. I also used a sippy cup of Carter’s to flatten out the graham cracker crumb mixture on the bottom with much success.

As an added bonus, I had a ton of leftover pudding/milk/cool whip mixture, of which I enjoyed eating directly from the spoon.

If you’re into baking and/or sweet things, beware of easybaked’s blog. It is chocked full of deliciously sweet recipes that make my heart skip a beat just by oogling the pictures.

Enjoy!

I completed my own version of the magnet board for under $25.

I skipped the adorable sticker she provided, and instead chose to just decoupage some paper I found at Michael’s on the smaller sized mighty magnetic board found at The Container Store for a whopping $4.99.

I ordered one sleeve (9 magnets) of my Instagram pictures from StickyGrams for $14.99 to decorate the magnet board and the intention is to hang it in his office. The magnetic board holds about 5 pictures, so he’ll be able to interchange them if he ever gets the urge. That or I’ll steal the rest to decorate our fridge.

I’m pretty new on the Instagram bandwagon, but my username is the same as my Twitter handle, becs1017, so if you’re that amped about seeing more pics of my family, go follow me there. Fortunately, almost all of the pictures I’ve taken with the app are of Jason and Carter, or just of Carter, which fits the Fathers Day theme quite nicely.

You could obviously give this to any sort of family member that likes to look at pictures of you and your family.

Hope all the daddy’s out there have a fantastic Fathers Day!

Jason, I promise your day will be filled with lots of monster daddy hugs, your choice of breakfast as long as it’s pancakes or french toast and minimal complaining about being tired. We love everything you do for us and think you are one amazing (-ly hot…) father.

And by that I mean, mom doesn’t think she’s ever going to be ready for this baby to come.

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore. But with the birth of the baby comes even less sleep than I’m already getting and another huge responsibility on top of Crazy C and everything around this house – housework, projects, my neglected blog, etc.

All things I should have thought about before getting pregnant, right? I know, I know…

You just get set in the way things are and it’s extremely difficult to imagine yourself adapting to a new normal. I will, the family will, and by this time next month I probably won’t be able to picture my life without our daughter, but for now, as her unknown arrival date continues to get closer and closer, I’ll settle for freaking out, self-doubt and taking it all out on my husband.

Last week my family was all lucky enough to get hit by a stomach bug. As if vomiting for 12 hours was any fun anyways, hurling while 8 months pregnant was quite possibly the most miserable thing I experienced in my entire life. Not as bad as being in labor, but I considered how closely it could be compared.

Then the head cold hit me immediately after the stomach bug flew away. I told Jason this a bajillion times and I’ll go ahead and say it publicly now…I don’t have anything to complain about with this pregnancy now that I’m not sick anymore.

Are you as shocked as I am that I said I had nothing to complain about?! Me?! 8.5 months pregnant and NOT complaining?

That’s probably a lie, who am I kidding.

I just cannot even get over how miserable I felt last week, and nothing, not heat, backaches or exhaustion can compete with a head cold/vomiting on top of all of those normal pregnancy symptoms. I get the whole “moms don’t get days off” expression now – because throwing Carter on top of everything else was just the icing on my miserable, I feel so sorry for myself I could cry cake. It was a rough week.

On a positive note, I can still wear my wedding rings, something which I could no longer do at 34-weeks last pregnancy, and although my weight is hovering dangerously close to the plus 50 pounds mark (no thanks to the blueberry pancakes I made for breakfast this morning or my 2 bowls of ice cream last night…), I still don’t feel quite as sluggish and large as I did with Carter. I’m not really sleeping and the sweat while being outside for any length of time is enough to gross anyone out, but in comparison to my first pregnancy, this one really isn’t as bad.

I’m still questioning whether or not I could handle a third, and despite it being “not as bad,” I’m leaning towards, “eff this noise, I’m never doing this again…”

Working out has been inconsistent, unlike my nightly craving for anything sweet, and I’m not afraid to admit that on occasion I have, in fact, felt like a human garbage disposal and I don’t really feel that bad about it (take that, Giselle).

Another thing I don’t feel that badly about is letting my child watch an episode of Team Umizoomi in the morning despite the fact that he’s not yet 2. There is nothing like getting 20-25 minutes of downtime to read a blog or 2, drink a cup of coffee and listen to your son recite patterns and get genuinely excited to do the UmiShake. Sometimes I even use the time to get some chores done, but usually Carter likes us to snug on the couch while he gets his tv treat, and how in the world do you say no to a 21-month old saying, “couch cuddle mama?”

Here’s the family on a recent trip to the beach at the 35-week mark. It’s the best you’re going to get of a belly shot now that I’ve exited the “cute and pregnant” phase and entered the one where everyone looks at you nervously as if you’re going to give birth any second…

It’s not that I don’t love taking him places. I just need those places to be the types of locations that don’t frown upon running, yelling, screaming, throwing and/or climbing. I love taking him to playgrounds and parks – generally any large outdoor place. He’s as boy as they come and even story time at the library is considered a success if he only beelines away from me a handful of times.

I consider myself lucky every day I get through that he doesn’t run into the street or jeopardize his life in one way or another.

So after a bright and early 6am wake-up and an hour of play outside in ridiculous Virginia humidity, we made our way to my favorite breakfast spot in my hometown. As much as I bitched about what a bad idea this whole taking C out to eat thing was,  I was admittedly pretty stoked to get my fill of blueberry pancakes.

Anything blueberry has really hit the spot with me this pregnancy, and did during my pregnancy with C, too.

In an attempt to look moderately stylish, I’ve put my huge, black leather diaper bag away for the summer and have opted for a more casual, brightly colored crossbody style bag that I paid a whopping $25 for at Target. The only problem with this bag is it doesn’t have the million and one pockets of my diaper bag and therefore can’t store all of my out of the house must haves for emergency situations.

Emergency situations like having to take Carter out to eat.

I managed to find one book and one toy car shoved to the bottom of my bag. They entertained him for about 2 seconds before he was reaching for any and everything he could get his grubby little paws on.

As luck would have it, we had horrible service and everything was taking a super long time. I had distracted C with creamers, jelly packets (which his buddy Noah had somehow figured out how to bust open…), pieces of biscuit, some milk and some oddly sounding nursery rhymes when I looked down and panicked.

“Omg who’s water did he spill everywhere?!” I asked frantically, as “water” seemed to gush down his highchair.

My mom, who was on the other side of him, looked at me, and then at her full glass of water, and then at MY full glass of water, and then back at me before it hit me.

That wasn’t water gushing down his highchair.

Carter was peeing down the highchair. At a restaurant where people eat food.

In public.

As is the norm for me in awkward and uncomfortable situations, I burst out laughing.

I waited for him to finish, as I certainly wasn’t going to parade him through the restaurant to the car while he was in the middle of making more of a mess, on both of us, calling attention to the increasingly wetter kid and mom bouncing out and leaving people wondering what kind of mother laughs at her son peeing in a restaurant. (Answer: this kind of mom).

We walked out, changed both his diaper and his shorts and returned back to breakfast at which, upon getting back to the table, I hear my mom telling the waiter how clumsy she is and how the spilled water just went everywhere.

Water everywhere, ma?

The rest of the breakfast was only the moderate clusterfuck I’ve come to expect from these kinds of outings and the pancakes were delicious.

Worth the trip? The laugh certainly was.

Has this ever happened to you? What kind of embarrassing things have your kids accidentally done in public?

As if this even needed words anyways…

Thank you, my dear readers, for your patience!

As you can see, things are looking pretty different around here! I’ve been working pretty hard on a blog re-design and have been working on an editorial calendar of sorts to keep my posts more consistent and to get all this garbage out of my head in a more timely manner.

Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, I never get tired of my mom telling me how funny I am and how great I write, and, as I approach 8 months of pregnancy, I’ll take every single compliment I can get!

Since I’ve been gone, we’ve all been bombarded by the mommy wars thanks to that pesky TIME article, and as I refrained from writing about it and chose, much to my husband’s dismay, to simply rant to him, I will share one of my favorite responses to the article.

My belly AND my toddler have gone on a major growth spurt and I’ve almost managed to complete one entire project on my sewing machine while my kid’s rooms lay in a perpetual state of half-way done and my “things to buy” list grows and grows and grows along with the scowl on Jason’s face.

All jokes aside, he’s been such a rock star transforming Carter’s nursery into a new space for our daughter! Painting, framing, shelf-building…all done. The pretty, decorative things that I’m responsible for? Not done.

Carter continues to grow like a weed, similar to my weight, and has now become quite independent with a touch of sass. I wonder who he gets that from…

Here’s a pic of us from our second mother’s day together. He doesn’t really like sitting still, so our pictures like this don’t always turn out the best, but you can see how he’s certainly not a baby anymore. 21 months have gone by entirely too fast.

And as he calls for me over the baby monitor after blessing me with a sleep-in till 8:45am (gasp!!!!), I’ll leave you with a promise to not be such a stranger.

Drop a comment and let me know how you’ve been!

Anyone else have tears in their eyes or am I just an overly emotional pregnant woman?!

The “Thank you, Mom” campaign by P&G is a great concept as moms certainly don’t get the appreciation they deserve on a daily basis.

*Thank you to MY mom! You didn’t mother an Olympic athlete or have to send me off on buses or anything, but you did a pretty awesome job dealing with the many, many ups and downs in my swimming career and my many, many mood swings, mind changes and poor decisions…especially in my early 20′s.

I pray every day that my daughter doesn’t pay me back in kind.

Have you thanked your mom today?